Telling friends and family about your divorce can be challenging, even under the best of circumstances. It’s natural that you’ll want to keep some personal matters within your closest social circle, but at some point, you will need to make a general announcement to others. Psychology Today offers the following tips on how you can break the news. 

No matter what is going on in your life, you can feel free to define the narrative regarding your divorce. This is especially important if you’re going through a contentious divorce, which can be mentally and emotionally draining to talk about with all the people in your life. Instead, decide how you want to frame the divorce before going into the conversation and use that language whenever discussing it. Don’t feel the need to provide all the salacious details, as this will only make you feel worse. 

You can also tailor your announcement to the person you’re speaking with at a given time. You’ll likely talk about your divorce differently with a close relative than with a co-worker, so it’s perfectly fine to decide how you’d like to disclose certain information. It’s also good to have a way to close out your talk and move on to the next subject. Chances are you won’t feel like talking about your divorce forever, especially with acquaintances. 

Finally, you can revisit the topic as information changes. Providing updates prevents speculation and also shows people that you’re making progress in your new life. When speaking about your ex, try to not blame or criticize, no matter how you really feel about the topic. This can reflect poorly on you, even if your former spouse engaged in infidelity or some other damaging behavior. Remaining upbeat shows that you’re ready to move on.