Your divorce may create unique challenges for your children as they adjust to changes in their family dynamic. Depending on the circumstances of your split, you may need to relocate which could mean new schools, new friends and a new neighborhood for your children.
Understanding what you can do to eliminate some of their stress may help you feel more confident as you work together to navigate this new transition.
Be civil and kind
One of the biggest mistakes you can make during your divorce is to badmouth your ex. When your children feel and witness the tension and negativity between their parents, they may have a much harder time adjusting than if you maintained civility and kindness.
Out of respect for your children, keep any disagreements between you and your spouse. According to the Mayo Clinic, never force your children to side with you or press them for information about their other parent. These behaviors can create long-term damage, hinder healthy relationships and encourage parental alienation. You are much better off treating your ex with civility and kindness and showing your children that despite your differences, you care enough about them to set those differences aside in their presence.
Show enthusiasm for the future
Sure, your divorce has created some difficulties, but it has probably also given you a lot of opportunities. Discuss the excitement of the future with your children. Set goals together and make plans to achieve those goals. Celebrate big and little accomplishments.
Even during unprecedented times, do your best to maintain a routine for your children. When they know what to expect they may experience less confusion, angst and stress. Practice gratitude and encourage your children to do the same. Optimism can help your children continue to see the good which can facilitate a faster and more successful transition to a new normal.
